I’ve just looked over my 2010 List…

I didn’t accomplish much of any of it. Sadly enough. I mean, yeah, there are a few things I crossed right off and that’s an accomplishment, but for the most part this is a list of plans I really wanted to do and got waylaid or just flat out didn’t do it.

For the writing project I’m starting with Julie, I’ve been going through older posts and reading. Do you who write ever do that? Go back and read your older entries? I would suggest doing so. Sometimes I think, damn I’m funny! David Sedaris and I could storm the world. Sometimes I think, woof. That girl was in a funk. Sometimes I think, I’m so glad I wrote about that night…seems like yesterday! It’s nice to look back.

In that spirit, I’m not going to get all gloomy schmoomy about what DIDN’T get accomplished. I’ll mark the stuff that did…and we shall move on. A few things, to my credit, are being accomplished within the next few weeks or are in progress so that’s cool.

1) write. I want to finish a writing project and perhaps look into publishing. in progress
2) get back onstage more than once. didn’t happen. no time due to second job.
3) work on stand up comedy again. am blocked in this arena.
4) change my eating habits towards more organic and clean living. started the year off with a vengence and have slowly lost it. but am better this time this year, than I was this time last year.
5) find out about more farmers markets/locally grown foods to purchase. I have done this! not as much as I wanted, but again, more than I did last year.
6) move my body either at the gym or in some other physical fitness fashion. ebb and flow. I’m stalled with it right now.
7) work on finances…savings, nipping and cutting back. this year has been a beast on my finances. but like Shirley McClain sang in Postcards…I’m Still Here. I’ve also been looking into the Dave Ramsey thing for the new year.
pay off computer debt. paid off about 500, the rest to be paid with my tax refund in March.
9) work on replacing windows at the homestead. God. Wouldn’t that just be nice? I still have hope for the tax refund this year. Spencer just had Lowe’s install his, he has something like 19 windows in his house and did it for about 4 or 5000. I only have 8. It should be freaking do-able, right?
10) get my car in for some updates and tuning. Have kept up with the oil changes and tire rotation. Need to still get tune up.
11) check into getting new tires for the car. Got four new ones. Granted by BonusDad and Mom. Many thanks.
12) get to the eye doctor. Done. New glasses and new contact supply.
13) get to the dentist, REGULARLY! yeah. that didn’t happen either.
14) Organization in my house…drawers, closets, kitchen cabinets, all of it. not really. Mandrea kicked the kitchen into shape and I’m still trying.
15) get my birth certificate so that I can GOT IT!
16) get my passport. DONT GOT IT.
17) play the lottery, (cant win if ya dont play!) sporadic.
18) work on paying off credit card debt. perhaps a consolidation loan? Nope. Barely keeping up on the minimum payments. But the Dave Ramsey thing looks doable, and not at all overwhelming.
19) plan something smashing to celebrate turning 40! Thanks to my friends this was accomplished with aplomb. It was a brilliant turning to a new decade.
20) have a date with a man. I had two.
21) perhaps more than one. see above
22) see more live theatre. Yup. Done well with this.
23) re-build my clientele at work. I feel better about this now than I did last year. Most of my people have moved with me, and I’m working on a beginning of year referral program/incentive.
24) think about other avenues of income. I worked at Festivities practically every weekend from April thru September. This year may bring wedding co-ordinating duties should I say yes. It’s a good thing.
25) think about where I want to be in the next five years. I didn’t do this once. It was enough just keeping my head above water this year.
26) work on some form of healthcare for myself I didn’t do this either.
27) read through the books we’ve all got tagged over at goodreads I read a bunch of stuff this year, AND got my NookCOLOR which I love. but Goodreads has just become something I don’t even pay attention to anymore.
28) remember that THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS…THINK GOOD THOUGHTS. I do my best to do this daily.
29) wear my mouthguard nightly-not nightly but I was mindful to wear it during stressfull sleep deprived spells.
30) love louder, larger, longer. I try.
31) take some mini vaca’s with friends this summer-River Trip 2010 will go down in emphamy. NYC for my 40th was brilliant. but that’s all I did.
32) attend BlogHer in NYC with Cindy-this makes me almost cry to read. didn’t happen.
33) go to eat at the Guatamalen place with the oatmeal-nope
34) go to Whole Foods in Tx and bring back FROAST-nope. but we have Froast in OKC now so that’s cool and we have a WF enroute as well.
35) see my nephews more often-it’s never enough.
36) go snow tubeing at the ballpark next December-this still could happen
37) rearrange my office/library so that it is organized and does not give me hives-i have ideas but no, still with the hives.
38) all cats to the vet-i think this happened earlier in the year.
39) plant some things this spring…herbs, veggies, flowers-some things? I planted a whole garden. and flowers. next year there’s good plans for more.
40) look into a retirement account-nope
41) get the instructions off of Ebay for my bow maker-nope. and i wanted to do this so i could make bows for Christmas.
42) be a better friend at remembering birthdays-if it weren’t for Facebook, I would know nothing.
43) watch the ENTIRE series of Battlestar Galactica so that I may earn the right to say Frack-much to Chris’s chagrin. nope. I can’t believe he’s still talking to me.
44) decorate for the holidays-YES! YES! YES! last year I was so sad. This year, I refuse to be. We are thoroughly decorated at Brokedown Palace. And we’re loving it!
45) take down shelves in garage and re-organize-nope
46) Raise the roof on a new Gazebo-nope. this makes me sad too.
47) learn how to use this computer to it’s fullest-nope.
48) SKYPE with my friends who live away from me-nope
49) work on the all-class-reunion in Batshitcrazytown-nope
50) donate more-yes. i have done this. but not as much as I would have liked to!
51) watch Entourage series-nope
52) finish Outlander series-OH MY GOD MY FAVORITE THING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.
53) think about eHarmony-I did it. pffffffffft.
54) deep clean the house-in progress
55) watch vidal sassoon dvd’s and refresh my skills-some. not enough.
56) focus on the positive-much better at this the last half of the year.
57) get drapes for my bedroom-nope. but word on the street is that Mom’s doing this for my Christmas.
58) clean filter in my a/c-heater-yup.
59) take a risk a month? (every other month? every week?)-seriously just getting out of bed and getting the mail was risk enough most days.
60) read more blogs-not regularly
61) revamp this blog-yes!
62) participate in NaNoWriMo this year (SHIT!!!)-never gave it asecond thought after i wrote this
63) work on my personal style…polish that up a bit-ha.
64) begin my day with prayer/meditation-sometimes.
65) see some live music this summer-saw Tim McGraw and Lady Antebellum as well as Sugarland!
66) play bracketology during March Madness-i did. it was fun. i love it.
67) celebrate owning my home for two years on March 17th-every month is a success.
68) forgive-…
69) forgive-…
70) forgive-yeah. i think i made some progress.
71) see Flaming Lips on NYE –cant wait!
72) eat at 105 degrees-nope
73) visit Dion in Chicago-nope and it kills me.
74) visit Carus in Vegas-nope and it kills me
75) host more parties-some. not many.
76) go see the new Sex and the City movie at midnight opening-we DID do this.
77) keep healthy foods in my house-i’m eating rasin bran right now.
78) frame the family photos we took two years ago-not even close.
79) clean out the little building -kind of organized it! better than before.
80) attend the Halloween Parade and host Smores & Whores 3-no parade. was too exhausted. but we did do Smores & Whores. we were all hungover I think.
81) go to a local fish market and eat fresh fish-nope.
82) be a better family member-doubtful
83) keep my feet in good shape-kind of
84) drink the water-yes
85) add to this list-never happened.

SO. There’s that. It was fine. Vague in parts. Ambitious in parts. I think I’ll work on a list of things I DID accomplish this year as a bookend post…anyways. How has your year been? Reaching the end of it, it’s the time when I start taking stock, thinking ahead, making plans, dreams, wishes…do you?

Happy Day. Enjoy.

I was at Julie’s fabulously perfect little duplex this week and in her bathroom I found the thing I want so much. It’s grand enough that we all can love it. I totally give her props for claiming it as her mantra…but like with so many things in my life I am unabashedly copying from my friends.

I want this.

seriously badly. I can totally see it hanging in my bedroom. It’s quite perfect, isn’t it? It was part of a poster campaign that the British did during WWII. This was the one they put out when things were the most dire…the other posters are just as cool.

I have finished all but TWO bits of Christmas shopping and wrapping. I am waiting on a gift to be delivered via mail and one that I’m still mentally figuring out. It feels good to be finished. I’m excited to give this year. I’m excited to be happy this year.

also? i’m on money spending lockdown. I’ve decided to enjoy my newly bought groceries for EVERY MEAL. No more going out, just hanging at houses this weekend and spending time with friends. Time to get serious about saving this Christmas dough.

that’s it for me. I’m boring. plus there’s a Julia Roberts bio on the Biography channel.

Had dinner with a friend last night, delicious chicken curry, some fabulous cheeses, a nice wine…it was soul filling. She’s had an amazing year of change, most of it coming in the last few months. I get it. We have had some good talks, and I know that sometimes, that’s just what one needs. Just to talk it out.

Anyways, I was going to go into some other stuff here and seem to be blocked. Or my ADD has kicked in. Or really I’d rather not think about it and just watch this Christmas ep of Glee. (i love this tv, by the way) Bottom line, she and I are going to start writing a play. We’ve got a pretty solid idea for a script and hashed out some stuff last night. Sounds fun…we’ll see.

I’m also contemplating auditioning for an upcoming show called Skin Deep…the semantics and scheduling could be an issue, but I’m going to try so hard to do so!

work is good this week. I’m still worried about money, and how Im managing it. I’m caught up on all bills though, so we’ll just move forward and hope that it all comes together when I find an accountant next month to deal with all this stuff. GAH.

I think though, that after I get that part settled…it’s onwards and upwards!!!

are you having a good season?

The last few days of my weeks have kicked my buttocks. A good kind of kicking. But a kicking nonetheless. There were some social activites, we celebrated MGirl’s advent into her 30’s on Saturday night. There were tons of people out, and it was kind of crazy so I didn’t get much time with her but she looked beautiful and had a fabulous time. So that was a success. The rest of the weekend was spent, literally, in the bed or on the couch.

I’ve napped. I’ve eaten delivered food. I’ve napped. I’ve done minimum amounts of laundry. Today, I did get my first supply of groceries since before my birthday. I have a roast and veggies in the crockpot. A loaf of sourdough bread that is freshly baked and another loaf in the machine. My Roku remote is back in the house and I’ve been gorging on free tv and movies. I wrapped a bunch of my presents and put them under the tree…today was a good day.

I need to pay some bills tonight. I have some business stuff to take care of. but mostly? I’m going to spend some quality alone time and think about the things I”m grateful for.

LIfe moves at such a breakneck speed…especially these next few weeks…I want to just take the moments that I can and just rest.

Have you watched?
This and the HBO movie are so worth it…

but Little Edie…she makes me feel better about today. Today was rough. My heart got hurt a little bit. But it is what it is and at the end of the day…God bless her…I’m still doing better than this!

Slap.

That’s how this morning started. A phone call that was the equivilent to a slap in the face.

And I haven’t written about it here. I haven’t written here much at all since I jumped age boxes. I’ve been so busy. So very very crazy ass busy…but I like it that way and I don’t want to miss anything and it is what it is but today, I woke up thinking, “it’s Friday, and I have no plans.” —anyways, I digress.

I reconnected with a friend from my past. And while we’ve been in contact the last few months, pretty regularly, we actually got some facetime in after the holiday and there was reason for me to believe that perhaps that would happen more often. This week there has been an ice storm between here and the edge of the state because shit started to freeze and communication ceased and after the phone call this morning, I’m pretty convinced that there will be no further facetime or any other kind of time put into this scenario…

so. there’s that.

funny how a week full of hope can turn on a dime.

no dwelling.

yesteday was a rough one for a few of my clients and I pulled a Truvey twice.
NO ONE CRIES ALONE IN MY PRESENCE.
One cat being put down (extra treats to yours today please)
One is going through a pretty bad divorce/breakup. Dealing with all sorts of horrible things from her husband. Horrible words. Somethings…once they’re broken…can never be fixed. My heart is so heavy for them. Gah.

I have about five people in my close circle who are going through or just finished with this process and I just hope for them that the new year will bring a fresh start and that they can see all the brilliant possibility that lies ahead for them.

work is going well. Busy. My Tuesdays are still crap. But it’s ok. I’m using it as an “on call” day and it’s kind of like I get a three day weekend…doesn’t suck. I’d rather be making money, but oh well. I’m really loving my new salon. Meshing with the people. I’m pretty sure that the majority of them work with a different code than I do…they live pretty fast…and that’s cool. But I just don’t. There’s one or two that I think I could see being real friends with but the others? Co-workers. That’s it. And I’m learning that it’s just fine that way. I’m not upset about it.

life at Brokedown Palace is fine. I’ve got Christmas decorations and lights up and it’s cosy and warm and nice. Mandrea and I are co-habitating well. The cats are being nice, no carcass’ as of late.

Christmas shopping is almost finished…now just hoping things arrive in the mail. I have a few more things to get but other than that? perfectly fine. I’m ready for the season.

Ok. I’m going to have some coffee and shake off the way the day started. I hope you have a fabulous Friday. I leave you with my favorite Christmas song ever. Enjoy.

Today is Michelle’s birthday! My PseudoSis1! It’s been a helluva year for her and things are on the upswing…I know with my whole heart that this year is going to be the best one she’s had to date! We’re celebrating with the PseudoFam tonight and planning a Ludivine dinner for next week sometime to usher her into this new adventure properly. Today however, I give her one of her favorites…because she is one of my favorites. Happy Birthday sis!

Madchen is 30 today.

We celebrated this weekend with some football and some laughing and some beers, we shall celebrate next weekend even larger! But today, a little picture of her favorite because she is OUR favorite.

Your 30’s are a fabulous time…enjoy sister!

Everyone over on Facebook has been using their status updates to say what they’re thankful for. I would have liked to have joined that bandwagon, but somehow…I have not. I have been very cognizant of my blessings, however and still so remiss about posting them there or here.

So maybe I’ll give you 10 of them today, whaddya say? In no particular order of importance…

1. My Home. — I know Ive dubbed her Brokedown Palace, but really she’s been quite good to me. She holds me and Mandrea and the cats just fine. Warm. Cool. Away from the elements. Cozy. Comfortable. Inviting. She’s all of these things, and every month when I pay the mortgage, I say a little prayer of thanks.

2. My Family. — I’m heading to Arkansas this week to spend a brief bit of time with Mom and Bonusdad, and some quality time with the Wonderboys and their parents. I’ve never gone to Arkansas for this holiday and the fact that I will get to Black Friday shop with my sisser, makes me more excited than a kid on Christmas. We all have our quirks and our bits of crazy…but they’re ours and we have each other and that’s something.

3. My Bonusmom. –She’s included in the Family part but I wanted her to have her own number. I said to her today, “I’m sad for everyone in the world that doesn’t have a Bonusmom like you.” and seriously. I mean that. It had nothing to do with the fact that she’d just bought me a new toy for my birthday. She and I have a fabulous relationship that I honor and treasure. It’s grown over these years into something that I am extremely thankful for.

4. My new TOYS! –I got my ColorNook today. It’s freakin awesome. I’m so excited to delve into it and start reading! I’ve got so many books to read right now that I just want cave time and perhaps some cold weather to sock me in. Trouble is, between my ShinyShiny computer which I still love, and my new GrownUp TV…ohhhhhh all of these wonderful toys! I know you’re not supposed to covet things? pish posh. I do.

5. My Friends. Old and New. — I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I have more love in my life than most marriages see in two lifetimes. I’m not oblivious. I do not take it lightly or for granted. I am humbled by your presence in my life and your ability to find things in ME that brings you into my life, and makes you stay.

6. The Holidays. — Last  year was horrible. Perhaps I could have used meds. Who knows. Money was tight. Work was slow. I was coming off of a break up. Delving into all of the end of year relfection…it was bad. This year, I choose to be different. I choose to be happy and engaged and joyful. I choose to be aware of my blessings and to fight against the darkness should it creep up. Sometimes we just get underneath it and can’t rise. I know. It’s hard. But this year, I’m going to approach every day as a party with something to celebrate…because really? why not?

7. Good Health. — I’m so grateful and thankful that I’m healthy.  That you’re healthy. I’ve got a few members of the tribe that are fighting…and I know they’ll win. We’re all so lucky. I was watching the Today show yesterday and Matt Lauer spent some time at St. Judes. Tears. We’re all so lucky. We need to do everything we can to ADD minutes to this ride, not subtract.

8. Laughter.–I laughed all my eye makeup off Sunday at Gay Gospel Brunch. I laughed tonight at the stupid jokes our Shogun Chef was making, and then really got tickled rehashing The Hangover. Man oh man…when God invented laughter? THAT was the best day.

9. Pets–Since the weather has started to change, they have ALL been eating like Mary Kate at rehab. They’ve been snuggly and cuddly and Lil ole Black Sambo is so much with the love that he just drooled on my Nook. Sheesh. I was around Eddie last week and just fell in love with that little spaz-a-matic. One of the guys at work has a teensy baby puppy and brought her up today. Mmmmmmm…I’m thankful for the joy they bring into our lives.

10. Technology. I freakin love technology. I love the internet. I love my phone.  I love the blogs. I love the Nook. I love the Facebook. Not because I’m especially brilliant about working it, or figuring things out. But because it brings me closer to you. You all live in my phone. On my shiny shiny computer. You’re right here with me in my living room…and since I have yet to build our commune, or find a house big enough to hold us all…this is the next best thing. I unabashedly love it.

And one to grow on…

11. You. I love you.

12. and George Clooney.

Delbert is finally a Free Woman and we celebrated like rockstars last night. I’ve known this girl for years and years, since the 9th grade. I’ve loved her for all these years. Her laugh and her spirit are a bubbly as a glass of fine champagne…and yes…after a bit of time in her presence one feels a little giddy. I’m so proud of the woman she has become, and thankful that she has allowed me to remain a part of her and her girls’ lives.

I’m thankful, so so so thankful for her to be able to start a new chapter in her life. I look forward with great anticipation to what it will be.

Today we celebrated our dear Ryan’s birth. We went to the gay bar for Gospel Brunch. Drag queens. Choir robes. Mimosas. I laughed all of my eye makeup off. Spend the rest of the day with PseudoSis 1 and getting some serious quality time in. I got a tiny bit of facetime with Mgirl and Demetri then home to allegedly do some laundry.

i’m writing this from the bed. no laundry other than the dirty that’s over there in the bin. Tomorrow.

Meeting Bonusmom at the Barns & Noble to buy my birthday present! Nook! Halla! So excited. I have to hit the bank, the supply house, then work to bang out one client before she leaves tomorrow. I’m pretty busy which is reassuring. I’ve GOT to get bills paid and figure out what’s left over for early Christmas shopping on Black Friday.

but now…at 9:12 pm?

methinks I’m to the bed.

Here’s to freedom. And friends. And a week that ends with one big ass sale!