How was your weekend? I didn’t work all day Saturday, so it actually felt like a 3 day break for me, too. I’ve spent this weekend partially working, helping my 2nd family in Batshitcrazytown. Partially hanging out with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, Mgirl  and Sean and Demetri…good times.  Having facetime with Kath and J this morning for Hangover II…It’s been good. Really good. I’ve cooked out all weekend and had meals with Lynn and Trey. Burgers. Steaks. Veggies. Yummy.

I’ve decorated MeMe and PaPa’s graves as well as G’Ma Bruce’s. It was the first time I’ve been back since we buried them. Meme being the last one, in October of 95. I haven’t stayed away on purpose. It wasn’t horrible or traumatic for me. I talk to them all the time. I have their photos in my home. I feel their presence in my life every single day. So this was…it was a thing. Respect. More so for my mother and BonusDad than anything else. It’s a beautiful cemetery out in bum fuck north of town. I drove around for TWO HOURS before I found it. I was about to blow my lid, in a pure PaPa fit when I drove up on it…the whole time muttering “this is why I want to be cremated damnit”

Trish and I have been shopping for our trip and have been blowing each others phones up with our purchases. We have two campsites. I bought my own when i thought her husband was coming along. Her 14 year old daughter is coming in his place and is responsible for the most brilliant idea. I’ve got my tent. They have theirs to sleep in. They also have a little one person tent that will be our bathroom tent. Yes. We bought a portapottie. bags. chemicals for disposing. We have our own Pee Tent. I love us. We’ve already surpassed our expectations for this trip. Tomorrow we meet, we finalize our food purchases, organize and plan our ice chests and make our final leaving plans. I’m excited. Beyond.

Lynn is taking care of the fur babies. I can’t tell you how much relief there is to know in my heart that my home and animals are being taken care of. Probably better than I would because I lost my mind on Kiki today. She’s taken to peeing on my bedroom rugs. Annoying. Her litterbox is pristine. She’s a bitch. Anyways, Lynn’s got it. She wont let the animals or the garden die. I’m sooooo thankful.

What else today, ya’ll?

This weekend, really makes it seem like summer has begun, doesn’t it? I’m hyper aware of how fast it goes…I’ve got big things happening each month, already on the calendar. Bartending gigs. Great Wolf Lodge in July! School starts the end of August. Holy crap.

I’ve slept this weekend. a LOT. Naps in the afternoon. Clean sheets and freshly showered skin at nights. I’m still adjusting to no roommate. Sometimes I’ll wake up at night and listen for her. I haven’t fixed the guestroom yet. After I get home. Sleeping and being lazy without guilt has been a gift that I think…THINK…I have finally learned to give myself.

Ok kids. I’ma pour myself a little jelly jar full of cold white wine and cruise the tv channels. Trey’s coming over for steaks and making me watch Vanilla Sky. I’ve never seen it. His head exploded gooey bits when he found that out. Tonight we rectify the situation.

I think Ima need more than one jelly jar of wine.

It’s the official start of summer…whooooweeeeee! We’re going to have record breaking heat. 92-93 degrees today. Good honk. But I’m not going to complain. No more storms. Heat and rain please and thankyou.

I bartended last night, and got to spend some quality time with Popsie. He’s been so strong this week, for everyone. Strong and clear and focused. Yesterday he kind of came apart at the seams a bit. Chi and Nonna were at Sam’s starting to replace things. She said they spent 500 dollars…on nothing. Just nothing really. Mom sent a brand new coffee maker home with me, that I gave to them. Things will be replaced…but they’re having those flashbacks. What happened to my blabiddybla? They were in the farmhouse. What happened to my blabiddybla? those were hanging on that wall at the farmhouse…

I just ask for your continued prayers for this family. The stages of grief are very present in this situation, and along with the rage and grief is the overwhelming feelings of grace and gratitude for being spared and for all of the love coming their way. It’s a confusing mix. In the midst of it all, life goes on. Summer has begun, Noodle’s out of school, weddings are scheduled, cleaning must continue. It goes on. One step at a time.

I’m working just this morning. Then off until Tuesday. We leave Wednesday night for the mountain. I’ve got lot’s to do. I’m going out to decorate the graves, I’ve got some things to gather for the trip. I’ve got offers for arts festival and barbequeing. I like not being tied down to a bunch of obligations.

I have time for one more cup of coffee then I’ve got to get my ass in gear.

Have a beautiful Saturday, friends.

So I got another email from my grad school adviser…and let me just say…I am becoming more and more underwhelmed with the professionalism of her and the whole experience by the minute. I can be understanding. I am fully aware that life is a bitch, semesters are rough, juggling more than one thing on the daily grind can drive you to drink draino. I get it. We’ve all got shit.

We have all got shit.

But it’s not an excuse to slack off on the job.

Basically the email said, “thanks for being patient. the semester was rough. bla bla bla. you can enroll at will. I don’t know what program you’re in. go ahead and get enrolled then come see me and I will look to see if the classes will apply to your program. I don’t know anything about financial aid, call them directly. Make an appointment with me in the spring semester.”

What the fuck?

You want me to just go ahead and spend money on classes that may or may not work for my program?

Really.

Just a little disgusted by the whole thing.

I’m not asking for someone to hold my hand every step of the way…but as an adviser…ADVISE ME.

 

Meanwhile, the farmhouse has been pretty much cleaned up. The insurance was out yesterday. They had lots of help. I went out and worked on Festivities, cleaning and prepping for the weekends rehearsals and weddings…the business must continue even when everything else falls apart. The community is rallying in such a way that brings tears to the eye.

Many have asked me what they can do to help…I’m saying gift cards. Groceries. Spices. Toothpaste. Panties. Shoes. Towels. Yard equipment. everything is gone. So rebuilding will begin soon, but until it does I think gift cards are easier to store than Stuff. . . when we don’t really know where the Stuff will go.

Our Thunder lost last night. 3 years as our team here in OKC and we made it to the final four. Amazing sportsmanship from such a young team. Our oldest player is 3o. Well played, Thunder boys. Well played.

Ok kids, I’m done. I have to run to the store today. I just ate a toasted whole wheat hamburger bun for breakfast.

I was going to tell you about my weekend, bla bla bla, crazy stroms and tornados in Arkansas and their lack of weather technology in the news.

BUT:

We had storms here yesterday. 4 different tornados that tracked across the state. I’m ok. My house and Bonusmom’s house are ok.

One of them hit my second family. Hit them hard. Their sweet sweet farmhouse was leveled.

Everyone, INCLUDING all of their pets, are ok. No one was hurt. It is a salute to intuition that no one was out there because that basement is the go to fraidy hole.

I have some photos on my phone…but can’t get them on here for some stupid reason. Here’s a link to some coverage.

Carla’s car? her brand new Sebring convertable that she left in the garage because she didn’t want hail damage?

It’s sideways in a tree with a 2×4 sticking out of it.

We were looking for the cat and the dog last night, and out in the middle of a field in the stillness that comes after a storm like that…two tiny deer having a little snack.

God’s grace.

We woke up this morning and the animals had returned home.

People are blowing up my phone with offers of help.

There are still people missing…the baby that was sucked from the mother’s arms while they were hiding in their bathtub…

The wheat farmers who’ve lost their harvest…

Lives were lost. . .

Prayers. Prayers for peace and recovery.

The Weather Channel guys showed up last night. They had just come from Joplin. You could see the weariness in their eyes and hear the empathy in their voice.

I’m having my coffee. I’m praying for my hometown. and I’m going to put on my rubber cowboy rainboots and my garden gloves and I’m heading out to pick up sticks. Because that’s all that’s left.

Sticks.

Stones.

But no one was hurt.

No one was hurt.

Oh the rain! It’s been so long gone from here that now when we get it…I want to dance in it and sing to the clouds! THANK YOU!!!!!

Each week, I look at my calendar and go…”Good grief, I’m busy” and I will wonder what will happen to fill up the few evenings that are blank and then I just jump in! I pray for work and appointments and that bills will be paid and that I will finally hear from my grad school adviser.

This was my first week living alone again in my house. Andrea moved out Monday, so it’s just been the cats and I and it’s been lovely. In honor of having our house back, the cats gave me a headless squirrel. Complete with guts and long tail. I don’t even have the words.

Our basketball team has been just working their little hearts on on that court this week. I gathered with a group of friends and watched the game Tues, then stayed home and watched it with Lynn last night. We planted some flowers and she took some morning glories, of which I have a bajillion that I will have to get rid of (if anyone wants some).

There’s been a little bit of a funk at the salon, and I honestly have no idea why. I don’t participate in the drama, but I do feel it. There’s a lot of passive aggressive kids who work there and really…in your 20s isn’t that the go to modus operandi? I get it. I just don’t play it. Still eeking out a bit of work at Job 2, where I’m headed in just a few minutes.

The BEST news however, came on Wednesday. I had a text from Audra, saying “check your email”

The email was entitled Engagement Ring.

Joe has proposed. She has accepted. They will just be engaged and committed and have that for themselves.

I could NOT be more happy and proud and excited.

WE all know how much I love Audra. How she is really the most successful relationship I’ve ever had. Ups. Downs. Men. Business. Family. We’ve fought for our friendship and won, over and over again.

But this man?

I love love love him.

He is smart, and witty, and cute, and not afraid to show his emotion or his crazy side. He and I sing along on a whim, and laugh till we cry. He has always welcomed ME into this life and for that I’m forever grateful. I love him. I love who he is for her. I love who he is for me.

We’re planning a fabulous roadtrip to celebrate her 40th this October. I forsee lots of laughing and eating and singing.

All of my love kids! You’re following the yellow brick road….and look where it’s taken you! WEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Ok. Time to get my new rainboots on and giddyup!

up later this morning than usual. sleeeeeepy…sooo sleeeeeepy.

gulping some coffee then jumping in the shower to head to job 2 for a few hours…salon this afternoon till 7.

yawn.

my brain is jelly.

we had a little Thunder watch party last night. These late games kill me. We lost…but I have hopes for Thursday’s game.

I’m heading east this weekend. Meeting my sister at our dads for a cookout Saturday night then going home with her Sunday to gather camping supplies, returning Monday.

and that, kids, is all I’ve got. boring. yawn.

 

 

Haven’t I been talking about this? I’m going to Wakarusa Music Festival in a few weeks. Over 100 bands, 4 stages, camping for 4 days. Trisha and I are going to the mountain with the hippies and the drum circles!

Mumford & Sons. Ryan Bingham. My Morning Jacket. Ben Harper. These are the biggie names…so many more. I’m super psyched.

This will be the 2 trip anywhere in about 6 years that I won’t be working or educating myself. I did the float trip last year, the quick drunken weekend. This one? Camping. Hammocks. Leisure. Music.

I’m borrowing gear from my sister and brotherinlaw.

I will be camping.

I will be dancing.

It will be fabulous.

I cannot wait…

Here was today’s list.

clean sheets. clean room.–CHECK

clean kitchen.–CHECK

clean bathroom.–CHECK

laundry.-CHECK

carpets.–DONE

Call Lynn for lunch or dinner plans, advice on furniture, perhaps get a piece from her house to hold my tv until I decide what to do.–CHECK and moved said piece over here and put up tv and stuff. It needs to be tweeked but that takes more brain power than I’ve got.

Big Lots. to check on some things for my impending camping trip–CHECK and bought hammock and stand for super cheap.

Health food store for more melatonin.–CHECK

Grocery store with a meal plan**–CHECK and grilled burger and sweet potato and zuchinni for supper!

Put bed frame back together and attach headboard that Andrea gave me.–Bedframe is in garage. I’m not even going to attempt to tackle this w/o help. It’s most definitely a two person job. But I will be happy when it’s finished.

I also contacted AT&T and pared down the cable bill. I may take it down further…we’ll see.

I planted two plants of catnip in my backyard. Lil Black Sambo is officially hopped up on the juice. Only one bird today, but looooooooooot’s of lovin complete with drool. Poor little dope fiend kitty.

This is one of those days that I feel good about. It’s strange having the house back…change always is wonky at first. But getting so much accomplished today feels soooo good. Tomorrow night I’m meeting my friend Mindi and we’re going to gather with whomever and watch the Thunder in their first game against Dallas. Plans continue nightly and end up with me at my dad’s and then my sisters this weekend for facetime and camping gear gathering.

in no time at all, I’ll be on the mountain listening to music and de-stressing.

Ahhhhhh.

 

Yesterday I was antsy. All day. I couldn’t calm my mind I couldn’t keep my body from twitching and muscles from cramping. I couldn’t get comfortable.

I recognize now what makes me that way.

I’m over tired.

I’m over committed.

I’m focused on the list of things that I want to get done on the house.

I gave myself permission to NOT do any of those things on my list yesterday. I sent my regrets and backed out of  going for burgers at PS2’s house. (which as it turns out was pushed back due to t-ball tourney) I didn’t worry about the empty room or the laundry or the firtch that was lying about. I didn’t move the tv off of the floor or figure out where all the dvd’s and cd’s go that were in the dresser Andrea took with her.

I did water the garden and yards. I did eat Kashi pizza and drink perhaps more than one Mexican Coke and Orange Fanta right out of the bottle. I watched the Thunder whoop it up on the Grizzlies and move ahead to the second round of playoffs. I watched No Strings Attached with Ashton Kutcher. I watched some eps of Mad Men from season 3. I went to bed with my Nook and read until I fell asleep. An hour later I was wide awake with the voices buzzing. I took my last bits of melatonin and crashed out.

Crashed so hard that I didn’t wake up till 10 this morning. Feeling sleepy and sluggish I made some coffee and had a healthy breakfast. I allow myself this time. I allow myself this day to realize I won’t accomplish EVERYTHING. But I’m gearing up to giddy up.

What I (realistically) am going to get done today:

clean sheets. clean room.

clean kitchen.

clean bathroom.

laundry.

carpets.

Call Lynn for lunch or dinner plans, advice on furniture, perhaps get a piece from her house to hold my tv until I decide what to do.

Big Lots. to check on some things for my impending camping trip

Health food store for more melatonin.

Grocery store with a meal plan**

Put bed frame back together and attach headboard that Andrea gave me.

It’s a lofty list. But I’ve already started some of the cleaning, finished up the last bits with Andrea and got the house key back. Started some laundry…Things are moving.

Happy Monday ya’ll!

 

**I just saw some photos from Delberts birthday party. I would love to blame it on the long maxidress I was wearing. I cannot. I’m gross. Must. Start. Moving.

 

 

Holy crap that was a week!

Last night’s wedding went long, so I didn’t get home until after 1 am. I slept right up until it was time to meet Mandrea and Ryan for breakfast. Jumped up, threw on clothes and headed out the door. She’s moving her final bits out of the house today. I went over to see her new apartment and it is SO CUTE! Tiny spaces are nice.

My brain is running amok with chores and things to do to settle THIS tiny space, return the guestroom to guestroom status. This requires another pair of hands to put the bed and mattresses in place bla bla bla. There’s laundry to be done and sheets to change and perhaps some food planning…

There’s our final Thunder game at 2:30 which determines if we move to the second round or not. I thought about going somewheres to watch but decided to just watch at home. I’m tired.

I may perhaps go out to Pseudo Sis 2’s house for some grilled burgers later. I’d like to see them and Josh’s burgers are to die for.

I think now, though, my level of productivity will be contained with watering the front yard and the back yard/garden. I shall lie on the couch, and feel blessed that my life is so full, and my house is so quiet and I shall watch the back to back episodes of Gilmore Girls that’s on tv.

Happy Sunday, ya’ll.