I think today FINALLY cleared the funk from my brain.

The second week at the salon, and it got painted this weekend, cabinets were installed. Less chaos. Less. = Happy Misti Ridiculous.

I got a lot accomplished with the house. I need to clean the carpets, deep clean the carpets,  and then perhaps I can rest a bit. or at least my mind will ease up.

I’m really getting excited about the upcoming social events…just kind of let go of the crazy and started to wrap my head around everything.

one of my regular clients found me today…which just shows how great my former salon and the employees are for telling her. that was a nice thing to end the day on.

I’ve given myself a hungry headache. Going to defrost some Santa Fe Soup and make some jalapeno cornbread for dinner…do a little laundry perhaps and settle in for some paperwork and tv watching.

but I just wanted you to know…I feel better. I do. I think that Rance dying, and seeing Boyd again would have buckled me without anything else happening. But add the quit smoking and the working on healthy living and getting a roommate and quitting a salon and starting a new one AND turning 40?

it really is a wonder…

i’ve really just got too damn much on my mind. too much to think about to write here daily. work. bookwork. finances. trying to organized the house, which it’s needed organizing, but fitting another person into the equation has forced the hand and trying to get it done is making me nuts. I dont have much space it turns out. October is my busiest month socially, it always is…I’m not getting to do what I normally do because there’s just too much to do. the toilet is leaking. pretty severely leaking. but  I don’t have time to wait around for the plumber to get here.

Some things to look forward to. Fall Fest is this Friday night.  Family is coming in. But I dont have any time to do their hair this trip. and we’re having family pictures on Saturday. and I have nothing to wear so I have to go find something. Darci’s baby shower on Sunday. Gotta make the punch. Next week is the Halloween parade and my annual Smores & Whores party. SO the house has got to get organized and prepped before that. I have a bartending shift the day after that. My birthday party is the next weekend…Halloween weekend. It’s 80’s theme so I have to find something to wear for that.

honestly? if I could chunk it all and just go away? I’d do it.

but all this would still be here when I got back so I might as well deal with it now.

first step? Coffee. and a side of Grateful. That’s what I’ll have for breakfast.

after all, I already survived week one. it didn’t eat me…it tried but it didn’t.

giddyup.

I went to bed late last night. Later than normal. I had the windows up on either side of my bed, and the rains came. Rolling thunder, cool breeze that required snuggling under the covers AND quilt. At one point I had Kikimama at the head of the bed in her spot and the two black men at my feet. If I ever get any more animals, I’m have to get a king size bed.

But it was nice. My mind was racing at all the chores and things I need to do today. So I read until it quit racing. Turns out it takes three quarters of a Nora Roberts book to quell the running list. I remember today that the banks are closed. I’m already going to Sams with Bonusmom. I have tomorrow morning to go to the supply house and get what I need for the week…I just needed to stop the voices long enough to hear the conductor.

Gert is throwing me a birthday party! I’m starting to get excited about it. I have no idea about any of it other than the date. Which is fine by me. It’s later in this month, so my actual birthday is still open. Deciding what to do…Now I’m deciding what to wear for my party! Yay!!! I do have a most excellent personal shopper that I can call on.

My boys in Talequah are doing better. I’ve had contact with both of them this week. Which, in turn, sets my heart at ease. There is still a gripping…a vice around my heart for them. with them. We are just connected that way…and once something has been opened it’s hard to close it. We have ebbed and flowed in and out of each other’s lives over the years…but this time I refuse to leave. So…anyways. They are getting back to some strange form of normalcy. Life does in fact, keep going. Strange as it seems.

Must have more coffee. Meeting Bonusmom today to shop for Fall Fest which is this Friday night! Yay!

Happy Monday, ya’ll. This week is going to kick last week in the hiney.

Kizz told me so.

The Learning Curve of Boothrent.

maybe I should write that book.

everyone has asked me, “did you love it? how was the new place? the first week?”

no. no I did not love it. I didn’t really even like it. at all. every day was stressful. everyone is so into their own stress from working under the construction process that only about two or three even paid any attention to the fact that I was there. the sign got destroyed by the hail storm, and will be replaced soon, but this means I’m chasing my clients down the street. Figuring out how to do all of it is a little crazy. a LOT crazy.

but I survived the first week. and have a nice little deposit for tomorrow. and the next week will be better.

I’m in a funky mood. Not bad. Not great. Perhaps just tired. so I dont really have much to say other than thanks for the good thoughts and the support and the brunch and the lovin.

you make me better.

It’s been a crazy week…which I suppose should quit surprising me. It is, after all, MY life! But DAMN.

The dishwasher debacle did work itself out. I didn’t have any clients booked until the evening so I was home most of the day, which felt wonky. But this is how my life works now. It’s ok.

Today is the first really busy day I’m going to have, and I’m worried about having all the things I need. Worried about the right colors, bla bla bla. The thing that is still really buggin me is the receptionist/software they use to keep track of my clients. It’s just sub standard. It’s so different from what I’m used to. I picked this shop because they did have a receptionist who would book for me, so that I wouldn’t have to call or be interrupted in the middle of an appointment by clients calling…

It’ll work out. It’s just a lot to keep track of.

I’m looking into an iPad. Specifically to keep track of my clients, their information, color formulas, dates of services bla bla bla. Doing research now. Who knows what will happen with that but I need to get all this information streamlined now. I wish I had a programmer in my life!

Tonight though, I get to put all of this aside and go hang out with my PseudoSisters. We’re going to see Sugarland in concert. It’s an outdoor venue and it’s gonna be awesome! We’ve been looking forward to it for months and now it’s finally here! That makes me happy. And happy is what it’s all about!

the first day was fine.

most people were nice. some just were busy. that’s ok. it’s been a long time since I’ve had a first day. I don’t ever have to live that day again. Onwards and upwards.

today was supposed to be a great start with my brand new dishwasher being installed. turns out, it won’t fit because the yahoos that owned this house previously did a half assed tile job in the kitchen and the old dishwasher won’t come out. so. now. my shiny new dishwasher is back at Lowes, sitting with my name on it waiting for me to get 6 tiles removed.

i’ve called a guy. he’s coming over in an hour. an estimate and perhaps removal tools. we’ll see. it’d be really great if he could bust those out and charge me about 20 bucks to do it and the dishwasher would come back and get installed. that’d be really great.

First day at the new salon. I went yesterday to set up my station. I bought color and supplies and set those up too. The place is a shithole right now and that is really disappointing but we can see through the construction and hopefully wrap it up and be working in a beautiful space soon! I have two or three clients today…all night long I kept running a list of things I need to get. On loop. Things I forgot yesterday.

Color brushes

plastic caps.

gloves

foil

my roll tray

mens color.

make confirmation calls.

Lot’s going on in my brain today.

It’s a super busy social week as well. There’s something every night except for tomorrow, so this will start off October with a bang. I want to get some mums and put them in the ground, set out my scarecrows.

But first…it’s time to giddy up. We’ve got a whole new chapter to begin today.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. I love you. And I love George Clooney.

Today was the first day I didn’t wake up crying.

Last night was the first night I slept since last week.

I know it has to do with processing and working through the emotion…But I claim it has everything to do with being surrounded by friends. One of my friends said to me this week, “do not surround yourself with needy people this week” Best advice ever. I followed it yesterday and surrounded myself by the kind that filled me up. Listened. Laughed with me. Brought their strong shoulders for me to lean on and guacamole.

I also think it has everything to do with sitting around a fire and just letting it all go.

healing.

Have you seen that movie? Not a really great one…but apparently something about it stuck with me. Gweneth. That guy from Four Weddings and a Funeral. Sliding Doors.

I think life is like the sliding doors on an elevator in a big shiny building.

Opening. Closing. Up. Down. Stall. Stuck. Alarm. Bell. Unstuck. Down. Up.

Another me. Another set of doors. Another floor.

Who knows what would have happened. No tour. Cupcakes. Little League. Marathons. Master’s Degree. Who knows what would have happened.

I feel like I missed it though. And this week has served quite a hefty helping of nanny nanny boo boo look what you could have had. I feel like I missed it. Completely.

I don’t dislike the prizes behind door number 1 however. That life has been amazing. Full. And driving home tonight, I was listening to a mixed tape (because I keep them. and my car has a tape player. dont be jealous) that Chrome made me when I lived away. . .

Take me back to New Orleans and drop me at my door cuz I might love you yea but I love me more.

It’s still true.

Sliding doors. Everybody in? Watch your fingers.

going up.

How do you spend three months in a place, and have it change your life?

How do you meet people that you never knew before in that place, and for 12 weeks exchange pieces of your hearts that will keep you connected for the rest of your life?

How do you leave that place without leaving a piece of yourself there?

Yesterday was beyond difficult. And it was as easy as anything I’d ever done. It was at times awkward and uneasy, yet it was like going home. It was filled with faces unseen in 13 years…without a moment missed. It was forever goodbyes. And forever I love you’s.

And as I drove away, leaving my very own trail of tears across the three hour drive, I thought, I wish…I WISH I had known then how special that summer was so that I could have been MORE present. So that I could have lived each day better and bigger. I could have made MORE memories and held on tighter…and then I realized that really? That’s impossible. Because we did. We few, we couldn’t have lived brighter had we tried. It’s the exact reason those memories are so indelible, and the ink still so vivid. We shared our lives. We shared our pain. We shared our hearts in that town with those people.  And they shared theirs with us. Forever connected. Footprints on our hearts. WE WERE HERE.

Our friend, Choogie, said to Mike and I as we were at the gravesite, “that’s so and so. remember him? he did bla bla bla. That’s so and so. he’s the cousin of bla bla. Remember him?”

Some names I knew. Mike knew more, as he was there 3 times to my 1 for the summer drama. I told Choogie, that I really, just remembered us. We few. To which he responded,  ” so many come into our circle for such a short time and we forget. But there are those, we never forget. Always in our circle.”

As I drove away, Mike heading East, I going West. . . leaving Boyd there as I have done every single time…those words were with me.

Always in our circle. Merely miles apart. We are here.